Sex in the Fire Hall

I thought that might get your attention.

Vancouver's Firefighter Calendar supports cancer treatment and other charities. Please buy your local firefighter calendar and support these worthy causes.

Vancouver’s Firefighter Calendar supports cancer treatment and other charities. Please buy your local firefighter calendar and support these worthy causes.

There’s an almost mythic sexuality that has somehow attached to firefighters. I guess part of that is self-generated what with all the calendars featuring well oiled, half naked, buff firefighters. I have no problem with that. The money generated from the various calendars goes to support cancer research, children’s hospitals and a variety of other worthy causes. The Toronto Firefighters Calendar has raised over a million dollars for cancer research at the Princess Margaret Hospital. I’ve never been one of the calendar boys myself. They have a certain ideal physique in mind and pencil necked geeks just don’t cut it.

Part of the allure also stems from the fact that firefighting is dangerous. Danger and sex are closely intertwined. I’ll leave it to the psychologists to explain why that is, but it is undeniable. Bullfighters and race car drivers enjoy (or suffer from, depending on how you see it) the same hypersexual reputation for the same reason. On the other hand underground coal mining is or at least was just as dangerous as firefighting. But I don’t recall ever hearing about women getting hot and bothered or tossing their panties at the men emerging from the stopes.

I remember the first time I drove a fire truck. I was still a recruit in the Academy and we were just out driver training. I was concentrating very hard on threading the big aerial truck through congested city traffic and narrow side streets. But I was not totally oblivious to the smiles, waves and winks bestowed by several of the women we passed.

“You wouldn’t believe the number of women that waved at us” I remarked to my partner later that night, still a bit surprised.

The Calgary Firefighters’ “Hotstuff Calendar” supports their Burn Treatment Center. Please, buy your local Firefighter calendar and support these worthy causes.

The Calgary Firefighters’ “Hotstuff Calendar” supports their Burn Treatment Center. Please, buy your local Firefighter calendar and support these worthy causes.

“Oh yes,” she remarked with a casualness I found somewhat alarming, “I always wave at fire trucks.”

I guess there’s a certain safety in that sort of harmless flirtation. We’re in uniform, on duty and that’s as far as it’s going to go. I had that point forcibly driven home not long after that, shortly after I was assigned to my first station.

We still worked a day/night split shift at the time. Shortly before the end of our day shift we got a call for alarms sounding in a bar not too far from the station. When we got there the place was packed and I mean packed with women. There was some kind of nurse’s convention going on. There were hoots and hollers when we arrived. It turned out to be an alarm malfunction. We did our best to be professional, but we all agreed that when the shift ended, we’d come back.

When we arrived back, half an hour later, dressed in our civvies, we were just another bunch of hopeful losers with lame pick lines. Sometimes reality just slaps you right upside the head.

Australian firefighters are in on the act too. Their calendar supports the Children's Hospital Foundation.

Australian firefighters are in on the act too. Their calendar supports the Children’s Hospital Foundation.

If you’ve watched “Rescue Me”, “Chicago Fire” or any of the other shows and movies you might think that firefighters are simmering sex pots on and off the job. The reality is that firefighters aren’t getting any more sex than the rest of the population. And people aren’t getting laid any more in my work place than they are in yours.

Has anyone ever had sex in a fire hall? Sure, it’s happened. And I’ll wager that someone’s done it in the supply room or similar place where you work too.

Now with more and more women becoming firefighters, fire hall romances are becoming more common. Mind you, that sort of thing has always happened. People just had to be a lot more discrete back in the bad old days when homophobia was the legally sanctioned norm.

The guys I work with are just that – regular guys. They rake leaves, take their kids to hockey and soccer games and try to be good neighbours. We’re lucky because we have rewarding, fulfilling careers and a steady pay cheque. We know we’re lucky. And we know there’s a certain image that goes with the job. We don’t mind.

So please enjoy the fantasy. And buy the calendars. They make great Christmas presents and the money supports some great causes. And please keep waving at the fire trucks. Even though I’m several years past my ‘best before’ date now, it still makes me smile.

The boys of the Halifax Firefighters Calendar. Please buy your local firefighters' calendar and support these worthy causes.

The boys of the Halifax Firefighters Calendar. Please buy your local firefighters’ calendar and support these worthy causes.

Comments

  1. I always thought that firefighters spent too much time pumping weights at the firehall and the calendars prove it but the community spirit you guys show is commendable. Thanks for a thoughtful blog. It gave me a reprieve from reading about the local thugs aka the Fords

  2. This made me laugh out loud a few times!! (especially the part about the coalminers!)

  3. John Cooke says:

    Well that was amusing to say the least – going to be enjoying your book onboard ship for the next 11 days (southern Caribbean – bahamas, aruba, curacao, cartenga, panama and costa rica).

    P.S. Federal Civil Servants NEVER suffered from this stigma – ever ! LOL

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